SMASH IT!
By Francina Simone
On Sale: September 22,
2020
INKYARD PRESS
Teen & Young Adult Theater
Fiction
978-1335146502; 1335146504
$18.99 USD
368 pages
About the Book
Olivia “Liv” James is done with letting her insecurities get the best of her. So she
does what any self-respecting hot mess of a girl who wants to SMASH junior year
does…
After Liv shows up to a Halloween party in khaki shorts—why, God, why?—she decides to set aside her wack AF ways. She makes a list—a F*ck-It list.
1. Be bold—do the thing that scares me.
2. Learn to take a compliment.
3. Stand out instead of back.
She kicks it off by trying out for the school musical, saying yes to a date and making new friends. Life is great when you stop punking yourself! However, with change comes a lot of missteps, and being bold means following her heart. So what happens when Liv’s heart is interested in three different guys—and two of them are her best friends? What is she supposed to do when she gets dumped by a guy she’s not even dating? How does one Smash It! after the humiliation of being friend-zoned?
In Liv’s own words, “F*ck it. What’s the worst that can happen?”
A lot, apparently.
#SMASHIT
Buy Links:
IndieBound: https://www.indiebound.org/book/9781335146502
Books-A-Million: https://www.booksamillion.com/p/Smash/Francina-Simone/9781335146502
Google Play:
https://play.google.com/store/audiobooks/details/Francina_Simone_Smash_It?id=AQAAAEDsER9R4M
Excerpted from SMASH IT! by Francina
Simone © 2020 by Francina Simone, used with permission from Inkyard Press.
CHAPTER ONE
Fuck.
I’m an idiot.
It’s Halloween and I’m the only one in a
packed club on Teen Night not wearing a costume. Girls are jumping and
screaming lyrics in cheap shiny wigs, and all the guys, dressed in a motley of
cheap polyester, are scoping out the dance floor, their gazes hopping right
over me. Even the bartender, slinging water bottles, has on pink bunny ears.
This isn’t an I’m seventeen and too
cool for dress up moment. I like wearing costumes. I just
thought I’d look like an unintentional clown doing it. We’re at a club. Who
wears a Halloween costume to the club? Apparently, everyone except this freak
in an Old Navy hoodie and khaki shorts. I’m wearing khaki shorts, like a
nerdy loser.
Some girl bumps into me and does a double
take at the sight of my hoodie. It’s Florida; I know October everywhere else is
like that meme of the dog in a wig wearing a scarf because “it’s sweater
weather,” but we’re in Florida; the leaves don’t change here. They just fall
off sometime between hot-as-fuck and damn-where-that-wind-come-from? So even
though this white girl has on a mesh shirt over a nude bra—I don’t know what
the hell she’s dressed as—I can tell by her raised brows and attempt to act
like she didn’t see me that she doesn’t know what in god’s name I’m doing right
now either.
Oh my god. Why am I like this?
This is what I get for not doing the yes
thing. My mom bought this book by Shonda Rhimes, Year of Yes,
and—I’m not going to lie—some rich black lady with a gazillion TV shows
shouldn’t be able to tell me, some sad black girl, how to be all, Say yes to
the dress! But right now, I’m really wishing I had said yes when Dré
asked, Are you sure you don’t want to put on something? It’s a costume party
at a club. Don’t you have something sexy? Sexy nurse? Sexy vet? Hell, cut up
your hoodie and go as a sexy hobo.
I’m wishing I had scissors or the
foresight to go as Sexy Hobo, because now, while my best friends are onstage at
the hottest teen club in Orlando, singing their asses off like rock gods, I
look like the freak who has no social shame.
The truth is I have too much social shame.
So much shame that it seeps out of me like fresh cut garlic on the back of the
tongue.
I make eye contact with Eli. He’s on the
keyboard, belting out lyrics and twisting in and out of a rap. His voice is
the love child of Sam Smith and Adele. He’s all suave and mysterious to
everyone here, but I know him as the boy who shaved off half an eyebrow when we
were thirteen and those Peretz Hebrew/Palestinian hairy genes started coming
in. His mom and dad were on that Romeo and Juliet vibe back in the day, and
even though it makes for an epic love story, with real war and faking deaths to
escape their families and countries (epic as hell), their genetic combo gave
Eli thick brows and hair like nobody’s business.
He smiles at me with his dark brown eyes
just under his fedora. Of the three of us, he’s definitely the broody one,
writing poems about nostalgia and love.
Dré, on the other hand—he’s got on shades.
Who wears sunglasses inside at night? Dré. When we were in middle
school, Dré used to hide his Spanish and pretend his name was Andrew. I don’t
blame him. Our school had a lot of white kids, and they always asked dumb as
hell questions. I always got, “If you can’t get your hair wet, how do you wash
it?” One kid asked Dré if Puerto Rican meant legal Mexican in
Spanish. The kid legitimately didn’t know. I know our education system
is shit, but come the fuck on.
High school has been a game changer for
all of us. Our magnet school pulls in kids from all over the county. But now
there are too many kids from way too many places. Now we have to be
different to fit in—cue Dré’s flashy, Spanish-heritage-day-is-every-day evolution.
He’s a self-proclaimed Puerto Rican papi, and he kind of radiates like a sunny
day on South Beach.
Then there’s me. In my hoodie, khaki
shorts, and Converse, stuck in the middle of a club with hundreds of kids
basking in the glory that is Dré and Eli. I look like an outcast from a bad
’90s movie. I’m not uncool, but I do these uncool things as if I’m addicted to
self-sabotage.
Mesh Girl looks at me again; she’s
probably wondering why Dré keeps pointing and making steamy eyes at me while he
spits some rhymes in Spanish. I know she’s thinking, How’d she get him? Girls
have asked me that. They see me, with my not-slim body and my brown
skin, and say, No offense, but damn, girl, how you got with Dré?
I’m not. Never have, never will. This
flashy thing that he’s doing is our signal for me to check his hair. My only
job is to make sure it still looks good. I nod and sway to the music, ignoring
Mesh Girl’s eyebrows, which are raised to the top of her blond head. Is it bad
that I like the attention? I enjoy her envy, even though I’m not the girl she
thinks I am.
Some girl dressed like a pumpkin shuffles
past me and reaches out to touch Dré’s hand. What she doesn’t know is that he’s
transferring half a store’s worth of product onto her fingers. He spends so
much time on his hair, we have to speed to school—which is the last thing we
should do in Dré’s rusty old car, the Bat Mobile. It’s already two gearshifts
away from blowing up with us inside. We call it the Bat Mobile not because it’s
cool, but because it looks like a hundred bats dropped turds all over it and
eroded the paint.
Even though it’s pretty much trash on
wheels, I’m so jealous. I can’t even get my mom to let me practice my learners
in her car. The queen of burning out engines thinks I’ll mess something up.
Then again, here I am on Halloween, the only girl in the club not having fun
because of my shitty choices.
Mesh Girl bumps me with her shoulder.
“He’s hot, right?” She’s talking about Eli, and I do a weird laugh thing and
nod, because I’m the worst at small talk, and it’s too much to yell, Yeah,
I’ve thought that for years. I can like the way he looks, right? That’s normal,
right?
She doesn’t seem to care that my laugh was
borderline psychotic. “Oh my god, we should totally dance for them. Guys love
that shit.” Suddenly this girl that I don’t know from Eve is pulling me toward
the stage, and I start freaking out.
I’ve watched enough romance movies to have
this scene planned in my head—but those are fantasies, and this is getting too
real. People are staring at us as she starts twerking and swinging her arms
around.
She waves at me. “Come on!”
Nope. I
just smile and shrink back into the crowd. She’s clearly one of those people
who really believes in herself—like, no one has ever told her she can’t
do a damn thing, because, here she is, shaking her ass like she invented the
booty pop.
Mesh Girl isn’t looking at me anymore.
She’s dancing and looking at Eli, and—he’s looking at her. I know I’m
not supposed to care, because he’s just my best friend and he and Dré are
supposed to interact with the crowd—that’s part of the gig—but he’s looking at
her and smiling like he’s impressed. He thinks this girl’s half-baked dance
moves are cool. He thinks she’s cool.
I can dance better than that. I could
be that cool.
Except I’m not.
I’m the girl who hides in the crowd. I’m
the girl who isn’t even in costume. And now, the guy I maybe-sorta-like is
smiling and singing to the girl who is doing the scary thing, even though she’s
not that good at it.
Fuck my life. My crush is about to go up
in tired-ass flames like the rest of my dreams. This isn’t the first time I’ve passed
up doing what I want because I’m afraid of looking like a clown. It isn’t even
the tenth or the hundredth.
Hell, just this morning I walked by a
flyer for the school musical auditions, and when the drama teacher offered me
one, I did the weird laugh, and—let’s just say she’ll probably never make eye
contact with me again.
All I had to do was say yes. All I
had to do was tell myself I’d try.
Why am I so chickenshit?
I make my way to the bar and order a soda.
The guy at the bar eyes me as he sprays Coke
into my glass. He puts the Coke down in front of me, and just when I want him
to walk away and leave me in my despair, he pulls off his pink bunny ears and
puts them next to my bubbly soda. “Take these. I don’t want you to stand out.”
I shake my head. Honestly, he’s got long
hair and it’s kind of greasy, so there is no way I’m putting that on my head.
“I’m cool. Don’t need pity ears, but thanks.”
He laughs, and it’s low-key judgmental.
“Yeah, because cool people don’t wear costumes, right? You must be a blast at
parties.” He looks around at the club behind me. “Oh, wait.”
Rude. “Look.
I happen to be a very cool person, thank you very much.” I shouldn’t talk when
I’m in my feelings, because my voice goes up an octave and I can never get my
eyebrows to stay still. They’re up in my hairline now, showing the whole damn
world that I have no chill.
Dude puts his bunny ears back on and leans
on the bar. “Yeah, it’s so cool sitting by yourself at a Halloween party with
no costume.” He shrugs. “I’m not saying high school is going to be the best
time of your life, but you should get over yourself enough to have a little fun
while you can. Otherwise, you’ll be a cool adult sitting alone at a bar wondering
why your life sucks.” He stands up, crosses his arms and looks proud of
himself.
Is there a sign on my head that says, I’m
having a hard time. Please do pile on? I take a deep breath and hate
myself, because my first reaction is to smile and nod. But I stare him dead in
the eye and say, “Because being a bartender at thirtysomething is so great.” I
feel a little badass for saying it, but also super guilty for being a bitch.
“Well, one of us is having fun.” He
wiggles his bunny ears. “And the other one is at a party full of kids and only
has the bartender to talk to.” He pulls the white towel off his shoulder and
starts wiping down the bar. “Don’t forget to tip.” And then he’s moving away
and pulling out waters for a group of guys in some anime costumes.
I drop my head to the bar, which,
regrettably, is sticky. That turd of a bartender doesn’t know me, but he’s
kinda right. Some girl on YouTube—the one with the minimalist white walls that
look chic instead of broke as hell—said everyone has a moment in life when
there are two paths before them. The cool one where you change your pathetic
ways and everything gets brighter and better. And the other one where you die
sad and alone.
She obviously knows what she’s talking
about, because she manages to make millions of people listen to her talk about hacking
procrastination and how to make your room over with just a succulent and a
few black-and-white photos strung up on the walls.
I don’t want to be sad and alone, or to
freeze every time my moment comes to shine. I want to be the fierce inner beast
I know I am. I want Eli to look at me like I’m the only one in the room.
Something has to change, because that
bartender and the succulent girl are right. If I don’t, I’m going to disappear
like I was never here.
About the author
Francina Simone believes in
one thing: authenticity. She writes YA stories full of humor and hard life
lessons with sprinkles of truth that make us all feel understood. Her craft
focuses on stories about girls throwing caution to the wind to discover exactly
who they are and what it means to love. Francina is also known for her BookTube
channel, where she discusses controversial topics in books.
Social Links:
Author website: http://www.francinasimone.com/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/francinasimone
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/francinasimone
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